The Dangers of Being Rear-Ended
I have discovered that there is a direct parallel between the number of
bumper stickers that you have plastered on the back of your car
and the closer that people drive behind you. The more stickers you
have, the closer people will tailgate you in order to read them. As
most of my commuting (if you want to call it that) was on a state highway
where the speed limit is 50-55 mph, being tailgated was even more dangerous.
Brake checks get old after a while, and there is always the looming
worry that the person behind you is so engrossed in your stickers
that they will fail to notice your brake lights and will plow into
you.
Here is a list of the stickers applied to Ol' Blue in his heydey. All of them
were applied by me, to the dismay of my parents.
- [Holiday Valley, Ellicotville, New York]
- [+Live+, Throwing Copper] with picture of the album cover.
- Ying Yang with rainbow in "yin" part. Rather faded.
- Fang-toothed smiley face, also rather faded.
- [College Sucks] rear-window-style sticker. It used to say "Your
College Sucks" but it was modified by accident.
- [+Live+] logo.
- [Thank God I'm a Unitarian Universalist]
- [Atomic Wings Survivor] from QuakerSteak and Lube, Sharon, PA.
- Funky smily face dude
- [Nice People Swallow] My parents were quite unhappy about that one.
- [Save The World, Kill Yourself]
- [Lollapaloza] with definition of word.
- [LoneStar Steak House]
- [Thank You For Not Breeding]
- [Akron Aeros]
- The World Wildlife Fund logo>
- A South Park sticker... All four of the kids standing at their bus stop.
- [Big Bone Lick State Park, Union Kentucky]
- Little tiny sticker that says [Little Pal]
There's also one more that is inside, on the dashboard. It's actually an
office-style plaque that I got from Office Max:
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Where did Ol' Blue come from?
What improvements has Ol' Blue had?
Tell us about Ol' Blue
The dangers of being rear-ended
Rust? What rust?
What is wrong with Ol' Blue?
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