This Page will be updated as soon as someone suggests a Joke.
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Joke 1 
Suggested by: Serg Astudillo Em@il: serg_26@yahoo.com Recieved: 5th Aug 99A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
"HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW"
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY "FIX THE LIGHT? NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO".
"WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT".
TO WHICH HE REPLIED, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."
"FINE," SHE SAYS "THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK."
"I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS," HE SAYS."DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'TTHINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!"
SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE HOURS. HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE , AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND HELP OUT.
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HEGOESTO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
"HONEY, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?" HE SAID
"WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICEYOUNGMAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO do ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE."
"SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?" HE ASKED
"HELLOOOOO........ DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?"
Joke 2
Suggested by: Krishan Kumar Guptaaggarwal Em@il: krishankg@yahoo.com Recieved: 11th Aug 99Subject - Finger in Nose Son
Son : Why is making love so enjoyable. Father
Father : It is just like the sensation when youare digging your nose with your finger !!
S : Why do women enjoys more than man
F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nosefeels more comfort than your finger.
S: Why do women hate it when they get rape?
F: It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??
S: Why woman cannot have . . . when they are having menses?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ??
S: Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.
S: Why are making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig you nose in front of your class?Stupid!
S: Woa . . father you are good.
Joke 3
Suggested by: Siddharth Mehra Em@il: siddharthmehra@hotmail.com Recieved: 19th Aug 99Two friends meet in the street. The one lad looked forlorn and almost on the verge of tears. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me forty thousand dollars."
"That's not bad."
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me eighty-five thousand free and clear."
"I'd like that."
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a quarter of a million."
"The how come you look so glum?"
"And this week - nothing!"
Joke 4
Suggested by: Anonymous Em@il: Anonymous Recieved: 22nd Aug 99Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field and great money. But, on the other hand, I thought I might write a book about my experiences here in the hospital and what it's like to be a patient here." The patient continued, "People might be interested in reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately."
Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can go on being a teapot."
Joke 5
Suggested by: Shan Malik Em@il: sm002@mail.com Recieved: 26th Aug 99A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
Joke 6
Suggested by: Serg Astudillo Em@il: serg_26@yahoo.com Recieved: 5th Sept 99Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south.
In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by where he had fallen, and crapped on the little sparrow.
The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings!
Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.
The Moral of the Story:
Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy
Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend.
And if you're warm and happy in a pile of crap, you might just want to keep your mouth shut.
Joke 7
Suggested by: Serg Astudillo Em@il: serg_26@yahoo.com Recieved: 9th Sept 99Once there was a guy that needed to make some money, so he thought about it for awhile.
He had seen an elephant stand on 4 legs, 3 legs, 2 legs, even 1 leg. He had never seen an elephant stand on no legs.
So he went out an bought an elephant. He posted a sign letting people know he was giving $1,000 to anyone that can make his elephant stand on no legs. For each try he charged $200.
So people came and went and the man was making alot of money cause everyone was failing.
Then one day a man in a blue chevy drove up and paid his $200. He walked over to the elephant with a large stick behind his back. He said "Now elephant I want you to stand on no legs, the elephant just stared. So the guy walked around to the back of the elephant and WHACK!!! right in the unmentionables. The elephant jumped up and the man recieved his $1,000.
The elephants owner had to think of a better plan because the guy took all the money he had made. So he says, "I have seen an elephant shake his head up and down but I have never seen an elephant shake his head left to right. So people came and went paying there money but never getting the elephant to shake it's head left to right.
Then the man in the blue chevy drove up and walked up to the elephant and said, "Do you remember me?" and the elephant shook its head up and down. The man said "Do you want me to do it again?" and the elephant shook it's head left to right.!!!!
Joke 8
Suggested by: Sunil Khotari Em@il: Anonymous Recieved: 19th Sept 99It was Career day at school. The teacher asked the children in the class to come up in turn and tell the rest of the class what their father does for a living and spell it. The first little girl came up and said
"My Dad is a Baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he was here right now he would give us all a cookie" "Very good Susie" replied the teacher. The teacher called on Sammy next
"My dad is a Banker, b -a -n -k -e -r, and if he were here right now he would give all of us a quarter!" "Very good!" replied the teacher. Next the teacher called on Peter. Peter stood in front of the class and said
"My Dad is an electrician, e-l-c-k-i...I give up!" The teacher noticed little Johnny in the back squirming in his chair saying "pick me! pick me!" so she reluctantly called on him. Little Johnny stood up and said
" My Dad is a Bookie, b- o- o- k- i- e, and if he were here right now he would lay us all 10-to-1 odds that Peter will never spell electrician!"
Joke 9
Suggested by: Anit Lekhrajani Em@il: anit.l@bol.net.in Recieved: 29th Sept 1999Anit Saw a Bumper Sticker while driving along,, It read
"I AM IN NO HURRY , JUST GOING TO WORK"
The above line has also been added to the Bumper Sticker Collection Category.
Joke 10 
Suggested by: Manvir Patel Em@il: manvir@emux.net Recieved: 2nd Oct 1999What does a Hindu?
Lay eggs!
What is the difference between a ugly skinny coward and a hindu?
There is none!
What is short dark and ugly that spends alot of time in the temple?
A Pandit!
Why do hindus exist?
Because Sikhs saved them!
Why do hindus do good in marathons?
They imagine there is a war on!
what do you call a hindu with a cold?
shiva!
what does a hindu call anything from cow shit to rockets?
GOD!
How many hindu gods are they?
F**k Knows!
Joke 11
Suggested by: Sahil Em@il: Ljnyk@aol.com Recieved: 7th Oct 1999Another Bumper Sticker
"dont be mad at the government thay havent done anything"
The above line has also been added to the Bumper Sticker Collection Category.
Joke 12
Suggested by: Jord Gokul Em@il: jord@bom5.vsnl.net.in Recieved: 13th Oct 1999One day one sardar was crying very loadly. the another sardar who passing away with this fellow see and asked
"ohe, tu roh kyun raha hai ?"
Weeping Sardar replied, "Ohe jo bhi aata hai yahi hi puchata hai, ohe agar mujhe malum hota to main rota hi kyun?"
Joke 13
Suggested by: Anit Lekhrajani Em@il: anit.l@bol.net.in Recieved: 13th Oct 1999T-Shirt: : " I used to miss my wife .... but now my aim is improving."
Bumper: " Curiosity didn't kill the cat ....my car did. "
The above line has also been added to the Bumper Sticker Collection & The T-shirt Collection Categories.
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