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Joke 74 
Bus RideSanta Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
Joke 75
Air TravelOne sardu was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.
He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat.
But the sardaji told:"I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat.But sardarji was adament and did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt.He also came and requested,but in vain.
Finally the Captain came.He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji.
Capt. told :"nothing.Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.All others will go to Jalandhar."
Joke 76
No FormalitiesElizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat.
She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you."
Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."
Joke 77
Weight LossThe doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
Joke 78
Bomb + Sardar = TroubleSardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off.
Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now".
Gani Singh says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"
Joke 79
Sardar InvestigatesSardar Singh was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach.
He picked the roach and put it in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran.
This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not!
Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis:
"When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".
Joke 80
Left or LeftA sardarji was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said ""DISNEYLAND LEFT"".
After thinking for a minute, he said to himself
""oh well !"" and turned around and drove back
Joke 81
BMWBMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down.
Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat.
By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine."
Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW.You can take that."
Joke 82
Flag PoleSanta Singh and Banta Singh get a contract to paint a flagpole. While trying to compute the area, so they'll know how much paint to buy, Santa stands on Banta 's shoulders and stretches to reach the top to compute the height. His reach is short by several inches. So, Banta says maybe if they switch positions, because he's taller maybe he can touch the top. (???) They switch positions and naturally he can't touch the top, either.
While sitting, pondering another approach to computing the area, a weight lifter comes by. Santa and Banta explain their problem. The weightlifter goes over, wrestles the flagpole out of its socket, lays it down, measures it from bottom to top, gives them the figure, then manhandles the flagpole back into its cement socket and walks off.
Santa looks at Banta, then says, "Now isn't that weightlifter awfully stupid! You ask him the height and he gives you the length of the pole!"
Joke 83
Rolls RoyceA Surd walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow $200 for six months. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says 'I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys.'
Six months later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, 'Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two hundred dollars?'
The Surd answers, 'I had to go to Europe for six months, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?'
Joke 84
Blinker TroubleThis guy was driving in a car with Santa Singh. He told him to stick his head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
Santa stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..'
Joke 85
Porche or PorchSanta was hard up for money, so he walked around his neighborhood, trying to find a job. He met a nice American who said he would give him work and pay $100. All he had to do was paint his porch white. He gave Santa a bucket of paint and walked into his house, laughing. He told his wife what he had done.
"Frank, our porch covers half of the house! You're so mean." his wife replied. One hour later, Santa went in the house, and gave the bucket of white paint back to the man. The astonished man handed him a $100 bill, and asked how he finished it so quickly.
"It takes time, but it was easy!" replied Santa Singh, "Oh, and it's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."
Joke 86
What Speed Limit?Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five Sikhs - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The driver Santa Singh, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" Santa says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, Santa grinned and thanked theofficer for pointing out his error.
"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? these people seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Said Santa.
Joke 87
Stinking RoomSanta went to England and stayed in hotel. He wanted to go to loo and went to the toilet. He could not figure out where to do it so he decided to do it his socks. He thought that he would throw them later. When he came out he realised that his room did not have any window. There was a small ventilator so he decided to throw the socks through the ventilator. Somehow he missed and the sock got tangled in the fan and... you know what happened?
Sheepishly he called the room service. Luckily they sent Banta Singh to attend to the call. Santa said, "Please don't tell anyone. I will give you 10 Pounds please clean this mess and don't tell anyone."
Banta replied, "I won't tell anyone. But I will give you 100 Pounds if you tell me how you did it?
Joke 88
ConfusionSanta Singh goes into an electrical goods store, you know one of these stores that sells fridges, TVs etc. Santa walks up to the salesman, points and says, "I want to buy this TV." The salesman say, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds." So Santa goes away and comes back two hours later after having a haircut, points and says, "I want to buy this TV." The salesman once again replies, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds." Santa goes away again and comes back two hours later with his beard and moustache also shaved, points, and says, "I want to buy this TV". The salesman once again replies, "Sorry, we do not sell anything to surds, Why are you wasting your and my time? Don't come back in the shop again!"
Santa says sheepishly, "OK, you do not sell to Surds. But tell me how did you figure out that I was a surd even after I had shaved my hair, moustache and beard.
The salesman replied, "Because that TV you want to buy is actually a microwave oven."
Joke 89
I think,,, HorseSanta and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'
His second friend says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'
Santa says, 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'
Joke 90
Kidnapping SardarThere was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,"I've kidnapped you."The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground". Signed, "A Sardarji"
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?!"
Joke 91
Wrong WayA policeman pulled a Surd over after he had been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Surd : No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
Joke 92
Dont Know Yet!Santa Singh: My doctor told me to drink carrot juice after a hot bath to cure my cold.
Banta Singh: Does it work?
Santa Singh: I don't know... I can never finish drinking the hot bath.
Joke 93
Sad NewsOne day Santa's neighbor visits him and sees Santa crying.
The neighbour: What had happened?
Santa: My mother died yesterday.
The neighbor made him some coffee and settled him down a little and then left. The next day the same neighbor went back over to the house and found Santa crying again.
The neighbour: Why are you crying today Santa?
Santa: I just got off of the phone with my brother, his mother died too!
Joke 94
How many idlis in a empty StomachOnce Banta Singh goes to dinner with his friends.Just to have some fun one of his friends ask's Banta, "How many Idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?". For which Banta answers promptly - "8 idlis".
His friends laugh at him and say,nobody can eat 8 idlis when their stomach is empty because when they eat the first idli their stomach would no longer be empty.
Banta enjoys the joke very much and as soon as he comes home calls his wife and asks, "How many idlis can you eat when your stomach is empty?". She replies - "5 idlis".
Hearing this answer Banta gets furious and replies, "You fool! Had you said '8 idlis' I would have told you a good joke!"
Joke 95
Believe Me!Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths's (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks Santa to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Banta goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.
Next week Banta finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy has a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks Santa to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. Banta goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food.
Next week Banta comes to Woolworth's with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag and immediately takes it out. He shouts at Banta: "What! This is shit!" Banta calmly replies: "Yes, and I want toilet paper"
Joke 96
Sardar from HeavenTwo fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the cricket scenario in the heaven.
Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him. He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there. "So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?"
Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night tournament here in heaven. And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tommorrow's match!"
Joke 97
PainSanta Singh went to the Doctor and complained that he was aching all over.
"Where exactly are you hurting?", asked the doctor.
Santa Singh replied, "All over my body, Doctor." He touched his left hand with his forefinger, "It hurts when I touch here". He touched his right leg. "It hurts here also." He touched his back, arms, stomach - everywhere and said it hurt in all places.
The doctor took some x-rays and said, "Santa Singh! I've caught your problem! You have a sprain in your forefinger!"
Joke 98
Scared Sardar -- A joke in HindiEk sardarji Gujarat ke platform pe kada hua tha aur woh station wala ne announce kia ke bombay jane wali train abhi platform pe 5 minute me anewali hai. Jub yeh sardarji ne suna to woh to bada hi dar ke mare gabra raha tha aur hairan ho gaya. To usne bachne ke liye railtracks pe kud ke khara ho gaya.....
Joke 99
Press AnyKey to Continue,, Wheres the Anykey?This sardarji kept staring at his computer screen for quite a while. To break the long pause another guy comes to him and asks, "Why are you simply staring at it... why don't you do start working?" Sardarji replies, "Take a look at the screen...". The other guy looks and there displayed is the message "Press any key to continue".
The man asked "So what?"
The Sardarji replies, "Look, this damn keyboard doesn't have the 'Any' key!...How do I continue now..."
Joke 100
Side A and BSanta Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging upside down?
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
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