This Page will be updated soon so do come back soon for more laughs.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
Joke 1 
Lawyer's creed A man is innocent until proven broke.
Q.: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
A: One is a cold blooded bottom dwelling scavenger and the other is a fish.
Q. It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ...
A. It was SO cold ... that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the lawyer. Twice
Joke 2
Q.What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?A.Senator
Q.Where can you find a good lawyer?
A.In the cemetery
Joke 3
An Attorney was on his deathbed in the hospital. When a friend came to visit, he found the Lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible."What are you doing ?" the visitor asked.
The sick Lawyer replied, "Looking for loopholes."
Joke 4
5 surgeons are taking a coffee break. 1st surgeon says: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says: "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
3rd responds: "Try electricians, man! Everything inside THEM is color coded."
4th intercedes: "I like engineers... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."
To which the 5th surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, says: "You're all wrong. Lawyers are the easiest. There's no guts, no heart, no spine and their head and butt are interchangeable."
Joke 5
A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort of mistake. "I'm much too young to die! I'm only 35!".St.Peter agreed that 35 did seem to be a bit young to be entering the Pearly Gates, and agreed to check on his case. When St. Peter returned, he told the attorney, "I'm afraid that the mistake must be yours, my son. We verified your age on the basis of the number of hours you've billed to your clients, and you're at least 108."
Joke 6
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"."I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road!", replied the priest.
"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck". The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD".
Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer"."That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!
Joke 7
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to out run that bear!"
"I don't have to,"the first lawyer replied. "I only have to out run you."
Joke 8
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
Webmaster: Haresh Mehra