You Know You're A Brian Jones Fan When...
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You only buy Mansen albums because the guitarist thinks he is Brian
You hail Mansun as the greatest band to emerge from the 90's just because the guitarist thinks he is Brian.
Highway 61 is your favourite Bob Dylan album because it contains 2 songs about Brian
You refuse to listen to any stones recordings after Brian left
You refuse to acknowledge that the stones were even a band after Brian left
You hail Brian as the greatest songwriter even though you never heard any of his songs
You attribute the invention of the electric guitar, the moon landing, the sunset, sunrise, and all the celestial beings, the universe and all the mysteries contained within, as works of Brian's divine creation.
You run up to any man with shiney blonde hair screaming "take me, I'm yours"
You run up to any man holding a guitar screaming "take me, I'm yours"
You allow your boyfriend to plummet to his death from a 123 story building because he tripped while he was playing your white teardrop vox guitar, and well, you couldn't save both.
You swear the anything he touches turns to gold
You run at, and attempt to strangle anyone named Frank, Mick, or Andrew.
You like to lie at the bottom of swimming pools
You told your friends about how great the Jajouka album is, even before you bought it.
You bought tickets to go watch the freak
You consider it a sign when somebody calls you a cow
You always reply "Well, WHAT is?" to questions of posession
You carry pencils with you at all times
You wonder what you will say when you get home
You know how it feels
You swear Elmore James is God even though you have no idea what any of his songs are
You still need valium to cope with the 3rd of July
You have vivid recollections of his funeral, even though you weren't born for another 11 years, and you've never been to England.
You consider it a personal insult when you read something (no matter how small) about the remaining stones that doesn't mention Brian
You are the founder, and only member of a "Brian Jones is God" cult so extreme that the heavens gate cult issued a press statement saying that in no way do they endorse, nor approve of your practices.
You consider the 28th of February a holy day.
If your calendar reads 29A.B instead of 1998
All the doors in your house are painted black.
You are a self-proclaimed jazz lover, even though you've never heard any jazz before
You can merticiously recite every known event of his life forwards, backwards, and standing on your head while juggling hot coals with your feet, and spend a large number of hours doing so.
You can remember the events of his life better than he could if he was still alive.
You wrote your last essay on the effects on civilization of shiney blonde hair.
You naturally assume that the first testament of the bible fortells the coming of Brian
You believe that the apocalyptic books in the bible fortells his death
You can interpret all of Nostradamus' quatrains as fortelling events in the life of Brian
You can have long discussions about the way Brian's hair sat on his shoulders
You are sure that one day he will rise again
You would turn cannibal and eat someone just so you could steal their white pear shaped vox guitar.
You spend your life searching for Anita to hunt her down and kill her for what she did to Brian.
You are saving to buy the origional Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys.
You can list everyone who was at Cotchford farm on the 2nd of July 1969, and their actions and whereabouts at every moment.
Ravenswood on Hatherly Road is the Vatican of your religion.
You have sworn to call your first born Rollender and dye it blue.