CADE McNOWN

BONUS POINT HALL OF FAMER

Cade McNown got his start at UCLA, where he was one of a group of nine teammates (including Skip Hicks) who illegally acquired campus handicapped-parking placards and used them from February to June 1997. "I'm not going to condemn them," McNown told the Chicago Tribune, which is sort of like Jesse James saying he wouldn't call Billy the Kid a bad guy.  He also told the Tribune in an interview, "I'm by no means defending (my teammates), but there's no parking at UCLA." McNown told the Chicago Tribune he had used the placard once, maybe twice at the most, and charged the Los Angeles Times with defaming him.  He said he was injured at the time, although UCLA never mentioned it.  A day after the Bears gave McNown a $22 million contract, the QB was driving to training camp.  At a toll booth he shouted at the collector, "I have no cash. I have credit," eventually persuading the operator to let him pass without paying the 40 cents. Eventually he arrived at training camp, drove his truck up to George R. Dobson Hall and in a classic move, parked atop a white wheelchair painted on the asphalt, right in front of a fluorescent sign reserving the spot for the handicapped. Sincerity and loyalty are not words you'd use to describe McNown.  That's a big reason he had so much trouble winning over his Bears teammates.  He once ran over a cameraman along the sideline, then rushed back to see if the guy was OK.  Later on in the locker room, he boasted that "I had to make it look like I cared." When the Bears drafted Cade out of UCLA he sheepishly told interviewers that, shucks, he hated to lose so much that he still hadn't even lost his virginity.  Football so consumed him that, gosh, he had no time for girls. McNown said he was saving himself for marriage after his football career was over. But apparently Cade wasn't too engrossed in film and Bible study to call several quarterback sneaks. A Los Angeles Times report says Cade was a frequent visitor to the Playboy Mansion, where he managed to do the ultimate by stealing Hugh Hefner's girlfriend, Brande Roderick, who was 1999's Miss April.  Hef was so angry that he permanently banned McNown from the Mansion.  That relationship didn't last long. Brande vacationed with McNown in Mexico, and now she's now doing "Baywatch" in Hawaii.  Being banned from the Mansion wasn't enough to stop our celibate stud.  Cleveland QB Tim Couch was dating Playmate of the Year Heather Kozar when he made a big mistake by introducing her to McNown. According to Sports Illustrated, McNown began the kind of all-out blitz he can't handle as a QB -- phoning constantly, sending lots of flowers, even sending his Porsche to her. It worked, as Kozar dumped Couch and moved to Chicago to live with McNown.  Cade still claims to be a devout Christian who doesn't even read Playboy magazine. "I've never even seen her layout," he says. Cade is always quick to lay the blame on someone else.  After a day of overthrowing receivers on deep routes, he suggested the receivers might have been too tired to catch up to the balls he was throwing. His teammates were often angered by McNown’s lack of game preparation. In the season finale, several Chicago Bears players told coach Dick Jauron that they would not play in Detroit if Cade started at quarterback.  Jauron eventually gave in and started Shane Matthews.  Unpopular with teammates as well as fans, Cade didn't help matters any when he skipped out on an appearance at a charity event he was supposed to make around Thanksgiving. Booed routinely at Soldier Field, McNown once was forced to apologize after he said hostile fans should stay home. And last but not least, let's not forget about the psycho Vietnam vet who wanted to kill McNown: "I heard from NFL security, `There's a former Vietnam guy who  wants to kill you,' " McNown said during a long talk in the  deserted quarterback film room at Halas Hall. "The head of  Garcia Security told me Sunday at the Green Bay game that they  had the guy locked up. But I mean, they said, `Better lock your  doors.'"

 

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